Yesterday, I met a friend for lunch at the Ferry Building in San Francisco. After a well-balanced meal of salad and diet coke, I decided to walk down Market Street to the Union Square area to do some window shopping, maybe try on a few of the latest fashions for fall. You know, browse. I was in the mood for love – love of knee-high boots and a possible fun new dress, that is.
I went into the Gap, which of course had nothing new. It seems to always just be a rehashing of what they had last year, and the year before that. Everything seems so late 90s in the Gap, even though I know they have a hot new designer running the show now.
Now, I don’t know what was wrong with me. Maybe it was the sunny day, maybe it was the crisp edge of fall in the air, maybe it was my upbeat mood. I decided to cross the line waiting for the cable cars and go into the flagship of Forever 21. I know, the name is ironic and I’m surprised that there are not age-detectors at the entrance. If there were, I would have set them off.
Everyone in the store was wearing skinny jeans (so last year) and some type of plaid shirt (so college-in-1992). Also, there were only about three other women in the store over the age of 21, and I think they were chaperoning their daughters. One of the women working there – probably the manager, since she was about 40 – smiled at me and said: “Can I help you find something, Miss?” I could have kissed her for adding in the ‘Miss.’ As we exchanged a knowing glance, sympathetic in nature on her part, I could tell we both knew that the ‘Miss’ should have been “Ma’am”.
As I trolled around, looking at this shirt and pulling that pants suit off the rack, I wondered about what kind of fashion choices I should be making as I get older. We’ve all seen that women of a “certain age” that is wearing what looks to be an outfit stolen directly out of her teenage daughter’s closet and groaned inwardly to ourselves. We’ve all said to ourselves: “That will not be me.” So, as I padded around Forever 21, I kept thinking to myself: “Is that going to be me? Today?”
To tell you the truth, most of the clothes were objectively WAY too young for me to pull off. A black and red plaid mini-skirt? No. A black lace, ruffled, Madonna-in-Holiday-esque mini-skirt? Probably not. A shiny, spaghetti-strap, black unitard straight out of the “Let’s Get Physical” video or from Studio54? Definitely not.
But there were some things I tried on and liked. A black, purple-polka-dotted, slightly ruffle-edge trench coat with hot pink lining and just a touch of taffeta inside to poof it out? Stylish and cute. A hot-pink feather flower for my hair, circa 1920s? I actually bought that, and will need to muster up the courage to wear it outside. A strapless black jersey pants suit? I looked like Bianca Jagger in the dressing room and decided that even if I never had anywhere to wear it, I was absolutely willing to pay $27.80 to own it.
As I was trying these things on, I heard two of the teenagers who were working the dressing room talk about things they thought were “hot”. Standing inside in my pants suit, I half thought about asking them what they thought. But what do they know about being 37 and looking too old to wear something? They were eighteen if they were a day. Then I remembered all the insecurities that went along with that age. At eighteen, I wouldn’t have the balls to wear this. Now, I think I do.
I might shop at Forever 21, but that doesn’t mean I’m dying to be 21 again.
On Cougar Town – ABC’s new show
25 09 2009OK. I watched the debut of this show the other night, and I have to say that I, like Judith Warner at the NYTimes, disliked it. I thought the show itself was trying too hard and I found myself wondering if anyone who still looked as great as Courtney Cox over the age of 40 would really have as many insecurities and anxieties. I doubt it, but maybe I’m wrong.
Something the show did get right, I think, was the sense of loneliness that Cox’s character feels after she gets a divorce. That is all-too real for most women. There’s the sense of relief that you’re out of that dull or horrible marriage, to be sure, but then follows the crushing realization that you are no longer young and you are spending your nights alone with your book or the latest reality television show. Even a bad marriage insulates a woman from having to feel old and alone. So that hit the right note for me.
But, then, I just don’t believe that someone like Courtney would be alone for that long. Her odds are upped, aren’t they? What about the rest of us? With our sagging boobs and dimpled butts? If we have a scintillating personality or a fascinating life, then maybe we will do well on Match.com. But, if not? Ouch.
Perhaps one of the most disturbing things about the show was Christa Miller’s face. Is she in the running to become the new Joan Rivers? She used to be so cute on the Drew Carey show, back before all that face-saving surgery. Yikes.
If you watch the show, you’ll see what I mean. Her face barely moves and her lips are ridiculous.
This is exactly what I hope NOT to be like when I’m over 40. To my friends out there, if I go overboard someday on the silicone and botox, please set up an intervention and show me a tape of Christa Miller on Cougar Town. I’ll understand.
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Tags: aging, commentary, Cougar Town, cougars, over 40 women, women's issues
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