OK, I admit to not loving basketball. Although I grew up in Indiana, where we were actually graded on how many free throws we could make in gym class (2 out of 5 was passing), I’m not a huge fan of the game. It’s fast paced, which I like, but it’s generally not a fun game to watch on television. It’s much better in person for some reason.
However, if the NBA went back to short shorts – a la the 1970s – maybe I would start watching more basketball. I could get behind watching more athletic men in short shorts.
I remember these shorts from my youth, when I wore them in aforesaid gym class. Everyone’s shorts were a bit shorter in 1978. And 1985. We used to sing that Nair Hair Remover commercial theme song, “Who wears short shorts? We wear short shorts!”, while high kicking like the Rockettes. It was a different, simpler time.
I read somewhere recently that one of the fastest growing segments of the population opting for plastic surgery is men. They get calf implants and neck lifts, nose jobs and lipo. Basically, men are beginning to feel self conscious about their bodies. Finally. Women have had to deal with this issue for decades, which is part of the reason I find this story so amusing.
Sadly, however, the Lakers wore biker pants underneath their shorts. They felt, in essence, that the shorts were too revealing. Women all over the world wear much less than that in rap videos, in clubs, on the street, on the beach. Unless someone is hung like an elephant, I can’t see why these throwback shorts were such a bother. Were women ogling? Did they get some catcalls from ladies in the stands? What was the problem?
My favorite thing was this quote from Kobe Byrant: “I don’t know what it feels like to wear a thong, but I imagine it feels something like what we had on in the first half,” he said with a grin. “I felt violated. I felt naked. It’s one thing to see films with guys wearing those things. … I’d rather stay warm, man.”
Yeah, um, those shorts are definitely not like thongs. There is about a yard more material in those shorts than in a thong, trust me. The next time one of these guys is in a bar staring at a girl in a tube-top she mistakenly thought was a skirt, I hope he gets a shiver down his spine just thinking of the draft from those shorts.
Welcome to the 21st century, fellas. We’ve got plenty of objectification to go around.
When I played hoops back-in-the-day, those short shorts were the norm. Now, when wearing the “current style” to the courts, I feel like I’m wearing a snow suit. It’s funny the range of reactions the Lakers’ change of clothing for one night has gotten. I’ve seen some folks simply stunned by how “short” and “tight” the look was, while others are wondering why the hell they aren’t still wearing uniforms that way all the time. In the 70’s, it was standard and no one had a problem. Today, you actually have some people (both men and women) saying they’re too short. Compared to what? Good post!
Aaron
After this soaks in, I am sure what you have here is really brilliant.
These player’s are WAY to young to remember the last decade we saw them on the courts- the 1980’s. Most this team was BORN in the 80’s! I grew up in the 80’s, and we didn’t have a problem wearing these type of shorts as active wear! These male Berquaas that kids call “shorts” today would have been so out of place back then!