OK, I’m not proud of this, but I actually owned the CD “Hangin’ Tough” in the late 80s. I never admitted to anyone that I was a NKOTB fan (New Kids on the Block, yo), but I was. Of course I was. The formula works, for better or for worse, because girls need something to fantasize about. If high school boys were sexier and widely available, then we’d never need another boy band. I don’t, however, see that materializing anytime soon.
Today, when I logged into i-Tunes to download my latest podcasts for the gym, I noticed that the new New Kids on the Block video was one of the most downloaded videos on the site. And I thought - Really? No, seriously, really really?
So I had to check it out on YouTube to have a look and a listen. I HAD to do it, people. Forces beyond my ken made me do it, I swear.
And, honestly, it was exactly like I expected it to be. It starts out with the band members getting a text message (natch), then deciding to meet up on a beach with their shirts off (duh), with a lot of half-naked women with their tits out onscreen as backdrops (well, yeah, thanks for the detailed description Ms. Obviously). And the song is catchy is a pre-produced pop kind of way (which I generally like, in pop culture’s mass produced defense).
But, in the end, I had to laugh out loud.
The ending shot is them all dressed in matching white suits (WHITE SUITS!!!!) doing an updated version of their old dance moves. Seriously. I think Donnie has a fedora hat on, too, but I only watched the video once, so I can’t be sure.
The commentary on the YouTube clip is also classic, and devolves into three categories:
1. Hard-Core Fan: “These guys are still great!” “OMG, they look hot!!!” “I love this song!!” (Picture a lot of 30-40 year old women typing these comments and wishing their husbands looked more like Joey McIntyre).
2. New Fan: “This song isn’t bad. I like it.” “This is good.”
3. Hater: “These guys suck!!!!” “OMG, these guys are totally old and look like pedophiles next to the girls in the video!” “They blow, but the girls are smokin!!” (Picture husbands of the women above typing in the room adjacent to their wives and wishing their wives looked more like girls in bikinis.)
At any rate, the NKOTB are back, they are touring, and they started the summer off with a retro bang. Or maybe a loud snap, like from those small firecrackers you throw at the ground to pop them.
Here’s the vid - for as long as it lasts:
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