I’m not sure if Facebook, blogging, and digital social networking in general are all making people less socially savvy than ever before, or if the generation just a bit younger than me (say 4-10 years) never learned social etiquette at all. Or maybe they just don’t give a damn. Either way, people have said some fairly suspect things to me this week, and I’d like to share them with the digital world for fun. It’s me getting them off my chest without having to blow up or get in someone’s face.
First, I should start with some background. This has been a personal “best week ever”. I passed my oral exam – the first one to do so in my class – and I advanced to ABD (all-but-dissertation) status. Then, I found out that I have been accepted into the Norman Mailer Writers Colony for the new journalism course. All scholarship and based on merit alone.
Here are the various responses – taken out of context in our conversations, but still as bad as they sound – to my good news:
“You should be so proud of yourself, since no one thought that you could ever do this!” (What kind of compliment is this?)
“Why would you want to go to a writing program anyway? What’s the point?”
“You’re not a journalist anymore, right? What does any of that have to do with anthropology?” (Um, good writing?? Readability? Ability to sell copies of your book?)
“That’s great. (short pause) I got a huge grant!”
“You have proved everyone who said you couldn’t do this wrong!” (Again, WHAT????)
“Did you write these field statements yourself?” (What is wrong with these people?)
That, trust me, is just a sample of the whole. I would bore you by repeating comments that were all-too similar to the ones above. If these were said in malice, then they would have made more sense. Instead, they were all said in a faux accent of “I’m so happy for you!” mixed with a smidgeon of “you bitch”.
Honestly, it stresses me out. I don’t like fake people. I also don’t always love the level of competition that comes along with being in this program.
Graffiti in our shared graduate teaching room:
Cal Anthro: home of the smartest people in the world
That’s a bit much, don’t you think? (Especially when Livermore Labs is under a mile away from us. Or adding in U Chicago or Harvard. Those people aren’t exactly dummies, no?)
Youth, inexperience and insecurity – what a powerful combination.
Ahh, nothing is more illustrative of personal insecurity than somebody dishing out backhanded complements. Some people even do it unconsciously – but at least you can know what they are really thinking.
I’d rather have someone say what they think then give me some fake “oh you are so wonderful” response. The outside world isn’t always going to respond the way you want them too. Tis life, builds character…makes you realize the world doesn’t revolve around you.